The Musicians:
FZ--lead guitar, vocals
Warren Cuccurullo--rhythm guitar, vocals
Denny Walley--slide guitar, vocals
Ike Willis--lead vocals
Peter Wolf--keyboards
Tommy Mars--keyboards
Arthur Barrow--bass, guitar (on Joe's Garage), vocals
Patrick O'Hearn--bass on Outside Now and He Used To Cut The Grass
Ed Mann--percussion, vocals
Vinnie Colaiuta--drums, combustible vapors, optometric abandon
Jeff--tenor sax
Marginal Chagrin--baritone sax
Stumuk--bass sax
Dale Bozzio--vocals
Al Malkin--vocals
Craig Steward--harmonica
THE CAST
Central Scrutinizer, Larry, L. Ron Hoover, Father Riley & Buddy Jones--Frank Zappa
Joe--Ike Willis
Mary--Dale Bozzio
Mrs. Borg--Denny Walley
Oficer Butzis--Al Malkin
Sy Borg--Warren Cuccurullo & Ed Mann
Bald-Headed John--Terry Bozzio
The Utility Muffin Research Kitchen Chorus--Al Malkin, Warren Cuccurullo, Dale Bozzio, Geordie Hormel, Barbara Issak & most of the people who work at Village Recorders
Father Riley And Various Party Goers:
Catholic Girls
With a tiny little mustache
Catholic Girls
Do you know how they go?
Catholic Girls
In the Rectory Basement
Father Riley's a fairy
But it don't bother Mary
Catholic Girls
At the CYO
Catholic Girls
Do you know how they go?
Catholic Girls
There can be no replacement
How do they go, after the show?
Joe:
All the way
That's the way they go
Every day
And none of their mamas ever seem to know
Hip-Hip-Hooray
For all the class they show
There's nothing like a Catholic Girl
At the CYO
When they learn to blow...
Father Riley:
They're learning to blow
All the Catholic Boys!
Mary:
Warren Cuccurullo...
Father Riley:
Catholic Boys!
Mary:
Kinda young, kinda WOW!
Father Riley:
Catholic Boys!
Mary:
Vinnie Colaiuta...
Chorus:
Where are they now?
Did they all take The Vow?
Father Riley:
Catholic Girls
Warren:
Carmenita Scarfone!
Father Riley:
Catholic Girls
Officer Butzis:
Hey! She gave me VD!
Father Riley:
Catholic Girls!
Warren:
Toni Carbone!
Chorus:
With a tongue like a cow
She could make you go WOW!
Joe:
VD vowdy vootie
Right away
That's the way they go
Every day
Whenever their mamas take them to a show
Matinee
Pass the popcorn please
There's nothing like a Catholic Girl
With her hand in the box
When she's on her knees
Larry:
She was on her knees,
My little Catholic Girl
Chorus:
In a little white dress
Catholic Girls
They never confess
Catholic Girls
I got one for a cousin
I love how they go
So send me a dozen
Catholic Girls
OOOOOOH!
Catholic Girls
OOOOOOH!
(etc.)
Taken from AlbumSongAndLyrics.comCentral Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...
Joe had a girl friend named Mary.
She used to go the church club every week.
They'd meet each other there
Hold hands
And think Pure Thoughts
But one night at the Social Club meeting
Mary didn't show up...
She was sucking cock backstage at The Armory
In order to get a pass
To see some big rock group for free...