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Can't con an honest john
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Current song lyrics
Using the following, I´m going to show you:<br><br>A) How to con someone using their own greed,<br>B) That you won´t feel bad ´cos they´re trying to con you anyway, and<br>C) TAKING THEIR MONEY!<br><br>As I have come to realise, running the beats is just getting people´s confidence.<br><br>This scam only works ´cos that man thinks he´s working this scam<br>And that you man off his mark<br>Get your mate, let´s call your mate Piers<br>No, not Piers, let´s call him Farquhar<br>Anyway get Farquhar to crawl into a bar with his dog<br>Like I said, the barman will try and con you later<br>but you´re gonna take all his money.<br>Anyway, get Farquhar to pass into a local bar<br>And call to the bar to look after a dog for a dart<br>Just for 20 quid for a while, claiming that he hated it<br>But it was worth more than his car<br>This, by the way, requires that you find and supply Farquhar<br>With an animal, and a life, from your local park.<br>Get a nice dog that doesn´t bark<br>But not so nice that someone might miss this mutt from the park<br><br>Anyway, using this technique you´re gonna take all this man´s money<br>But you´re not gonna care, cos he´s gonna fucking deserve it<br><br>[Chorus]<br>You´ll never con an Honest John<br>An Honest John you can´t drag down (Exactly!)<br>Con-do-lee get conned<br>When they think they´re the cunning one (It´s all one big con)<br>Neighbour you won´t con<br>An Honest John<br><br>Now listen, get Farquhar to dart out the bar<br>And just shop for some garm´s, maybe<br>Just to pass an hour or so<br>I would go shopping cos´ I gave up drinking<br>But whatever, just have Farquhar down the road<br>Now you walk in the bar, walk up to the barman<br>Order a jar, when you´ve caught him slouched on his own<br>Start eyeing the dog that he´s minding by his side<br>Currently vibe him and start on about the dog you own.<br>Start asking the barman, if it´s his fine specimen of a dog<br>Nod, smile, agree, look interested and cool<br>When he tells you it´s someone else´s you´ve just left previous<br>Tell him, ´This is a very rare breed of animal.´<br>Last time I lied my manager swiped me<br>But lie, and tell him it´s like a fucking Red-Eared Hunting Spaniel.<br>Tell him it´s worth 600 quid and you would pay handsomely if you were to accept finance at all<br><br>[Chorus]<br>You´ll never con an Honest John (Sometimes...)<br>An Honest John you can´t drag down (...Sometimes I think I should just go completely...)<br>Condolee get conned<br>When they think they´re the cunning one<br>Neighbour you won´t con an Honest John (Keep listening though, it´s important that you keep listening...)<br><br>Now take all his shopping off him<br>Get your mate Farquhar to pop in<br>Looking straight gutted a bit later on<br>He should order a jar, talk at the bar<br>Ensure he looks calm, warm with the barman<br>And generally start conversating on.<br>Farquhar should start falling apart<br>About how he´s arsed up some chance<br>And how arsed up his day was.<br>Or in the event, the spread betting he´s getting ready to accept<br>That his rent´s not getting payed up.<br>The barmans mind will chime slowly for a while<br>He might wipe the bar, as his mind is making sums.<br>Farquhar should continue to moan about money<br>And that this mutt is not the greatest of his worries.<br>And like ´ching!´, the barman will five out of six times<br>Kindly offer his greed to buy the dog for a price of 300 quid<br>And after some bartering, your barman will haggle and charge harder<br>In greed of the scent of the scheme in his head. (That´s right, neighbour!)<br><br>You´ll never con an Honest John<br>An Honest John you can´t drag down<br>Condolee get conned<br>When they think they´re the cunning one<br>(The barman, is gonna see how much he can stitch you up for.)<br>Neighbour you won´t con an Honest John<br>(How does that work? Cos´ everytime it´s based around someone who thinks they´re conning you.)<br><br>They´ll never imagine the whole scenario is prepared solely for him<br>Why should he?<br>That sort of paranoia can get you in the loony bin!<br><br>As I have come to realise, running the beats is just getting people´s confidence.<br>AND THAN TAKING THEIR MONEY!<br><br>It´s all one big con.
New song lyrics
Using the following, I´m going to show you:<br><br>A) How to con someone using their own greed,<br>B) That you won´t feel bad ´cos they´re trying to con you anyway, and<br>C) TAKING THEIR MONEY!<br><br>As I have come to realise, running the beats is just getting people´s confidence.<br><br>This scam only works ´cos that man thinks he´s working this scam<br>And that you man off his mark<br>Get your mate, let´s call your mate Piers<br>No, not Piers, let´s call him Farquhar<br>Anyway get Farquhar to crawl into a bar with his dog<br>Like I said, the barman will try and con you later<br>but you´re gonna take all his money.<br>Anyway, get Farquhar to pass into a local bar<br>And call to the bar to look after a dog for a dart<br>Just for 20 quid for a while, claiming that he hated it<br>But it was worth more than his car<br>This, by the way, requires that you find and supply Farquhar<br>With an animal, and a life, from your local park.<br>Get a nice dog that doesn´t bark<br>But not so nice that someone might miss this mutt from the park<br><br>Anyway, using this technique you´re gonna take all this man´s money<br>But you´re not gonna care, cos he´s gonna fucking deserve it<br><br>[Chorus]<br>You´ll never con an Honest John<br>An Honest John you can´t drag down (Exactly!)<br>Con-do-lee get conned<br>When they think they´re the cunning one (It´s all one big con)<br>Neighbour you won´t con<br>An Honest John<br><br>Now listen, get Farquhar to dart out the bar<br>And just shop for some garm´s, maybe<br>Just to pass an hour or so<br>I would go shopping cos´ I gave up drinking<br>But whatever, just have Farquhar down the road<br>Now you walk in the bar, walk up to the barman<br>Order a jar, when you´ve caught him slouched on his own<br>Start eyeing the dog that he´s minding by his side<br>Currently vibe him and start on about the dog you own.<br>Start asking the barman, if it´s his fine specimen of a dog<br>Nod, smile, agree, look interested and cool<br>When he tells you it´s someone else´s you´ve just left previous<br>Tell him, ´This is a very rare breed of animal.´<br>Last time I lied my manager swiped me<br>But lie, and tell him it´s like a fucking Red-Eared Hunting Spaniel.<br>Tell him it´s worth 600 quid and you would pay handsomely if you were to accept finance at all<br><br>[Chorus]<br>You´ll never con an Honest John (Sometimes...)<br>An Honest John you can´t drag down (...Sometimes I think I should just go completely...)<br>Condolee get conned<br>When they think they´re the cunning one<br>Neighbour you won´t con an Honest John (Keep listening though, it´s important that you keep listening...)<br><br>Now take all his shopping off him<br>Get your mate Farquhar to pop in<br>Looking straight gutted a bit later on<br>He should order a jar, talk at the bar<br>Ensure he looks calm, warm with the barman<br>And generally start conversating on.<br>Farquhar should start falling apart<br>About how he´s arsed up some chance<br>And how arsed up his day was.<br>Or in the event, the spread betting he´s getting ready to accept<br>That his rent´s not getting payed up.<br>The barmans mind will chime slowly for a while<br>He might wipe the bar, as his mind is making sums.<br>Farquhar should continue to moan about money<br>And that this mutt is not the greatest of his worries.<br>And like ´ching!´, the barman will five out of six times<br>Kindly offer his greed to buy the dog for a price of 300 quid<br>And after some bartering, your barman will haggle and charge harder<br>In greed of the scent of the scheme in his head. (That´s right, neighbour!)<br><br>You´ll never con an Honest John<br>An Honest John you can´t drag down<br>Condolee get conned<br>When they think they´re the cunning one<br>(The barman, is gonna see how much he can stitch you up for.)<br>Neighbour you won´t con an Honest John<br>(How does that work? Cos´ everytime it´s based around someone who thinks they´re conning you.)<br><br>They´ll never imagine the whole scenario is prepared solely for him<br>Why should he?<br>That sort of paranoia can get you in the loony bin!<br><br>As I have come to realise, running the beats is just getting people´s confidence.<br>AND THAN TAKING THEIR MONEY!<br><br>It´s all one big con.
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