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Michelle Pfeiffer
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(The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs
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Current song lyrics
Front step cha cha cha <br />Back step cha cha cha<br />Side step front step back and turn<br /><br />Oh my god, Penny there's Link... Link<br />I can't believe I'm really here auditioning<br />I cant believe I'm really here watching you audition<br /><br />Front step cha cha cha <br />Back step cha cha cha<br />Side step front step back and oh.. <br />Amber look at this motly crew<br />Oh this town's sure gone down hill since I was crowned Miss... <br /><br />Oh mother, not more ancient history<br /><br />Oh my God how times have changed<br />These girls must be blind <br />or completely deranged<br />but time seem to halt <br />When I was Miss Baltimore Crabs<br /><br />Amber, that move is far too dirty<br />Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930<br /><br />You can laugh but life's a test<br />don't do this don't do that<br />Remember mother knows best<br />But the crown's in vault from when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs<br /><br />These steps are perfect ammunition<br />Let me show you how your Mommy dear took out the competion<br /><br />Girls go get them, boys lets rumba<br />1,2,3,4,5,6,7<br /><br />Those poor runner-ups <br />Might still hold some grudges<br />They padded their 'cups' <br />But I screwed the judges <br />Those broads thought they'd win <br />If a plate they would spin in their dance <br />Not a chance!<br /><br />Boys put me down !<br />Oh good morning ladies lets see what you got <br /><br />Twist Twist Twist Twist Mashed potato Mambo<br />Ready Begin<br /><br />On my show you'll never find<br />A thrusting hip or bump or grind<br />Whats that a dance for fleas and ticks<br />ohh you should of seen my bag of tricks<br /><br />ohh I hit the stage <br />Batons ablaze <br />While belting Aida<br />And preparing souffles! <br />But that triple somersault <br />Was how I clinched "Miss Baltimore Crabs"!<br /><br />Proceed... <br />Are you scared we're on live? <br />No, I'm sure I can cope! <br />Well, this show isn't broadcast <br />in......Cinemascope! <br />I never drank one chocolate malt <br />no desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs<br /><br />This one will never get a date<br />In those hand-me-down clothes<br />Ha.. Kid she'll never get a date 'til daddy buys her a new nose<br />I would say Oy Gevalt <br />If I wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs<br /><br />Do you dance like you dress<br />Amber there's no need to be cruel<br />Would you swim in an integrated pool?<br /><br />I sure would. <br />I'm all for integration, <br />it's The New Frontier! <br /><br />Not in Baltimore it isn't! And may I be frank? <br /><br />First impressions can be tough <br />And when I saw you, I knew it <br />If your size weren't enough <br />Your last answer just blew it! <br /><br />And so, my dear, so short and stout <br />You'll never be in<br />So we're kicking you out<br /><br />With your form and your face<br />oh well it isn't your fault<br />You're just down with a case of Miss<br />BALTIMORE CRABS<br /><br />Eh, you may go.<br />Um, thank you.<br />I think they secretly liked you.<br /><br />May I please audition?<br />Of course not,<br />but you may bow and exhalt,<br />Cause I am<br />MISS BALTIMORE CRABS
New song lyrics
Front step cha cha cha <br />Back step cha cha cha<br />Side step front step back and turn<br /><br />Oh my god, Penny there's Link... Link<br />I can't believe I'm really here auditioning<br />I cant believe I'm really here watching you audition<br /><br />Front step cha cha cha <br />Back step cha cha cha<br />Side step front step back and oh.. <br />Amber look at this motly crew<br />Oh this town's sure gone down hill since I was crowned Miss... <br /><br />Oh mother, not more ancient history<br /><br />Oh my God how times have changed<br />These girls must be blind <br />or completely deranged<br />but time seem to halt <br />When I was Miss Baltimore Crabs<br /><br />Amber, that move is far too dirty<br />Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930<br /><br />You can laugh but life's a test<br />don't do this don't do that<br />Remember mother knows best<br />But the crown's in vault from when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs<br /><br />These steps are perfect ammunition<br />Let me show you how your Mommy dear took out the competion<br /><br />Girls go get them, boys lets rumba<br />1,2,3,4,5,6,7<br /><br />Those poor runner-ups <br />Might still hold some grudges<br />They padded their 'cups' <br />But I screwed the judges <br />Those broads thought they'd win <br />If a plate they would spin in their dance <br />Not a chance!<br /><br />Boys put me down !<br />Oh good morning ladies lets see what you got <br /><br />Twist Twist Twist Twist Mashed potato Mambo<br />Ready Begin<br /><br />On my show you'll never find<br />A thrusting hip or bump or grind<br />Whats that a dance for fleas and ticks<br />ohh you should of seen my bag of tricks<br /><br />ohh I hit the stage <br />Batons ablaze <br />While belting Aida<br />And preparing souffles! <br />But that triple somersault <br />Was how I clinched "Miss Baltimore Crabs"!<br /><br />Proceed... <br />Are you scared we're on live? <br />No, I'm sure I can cope! <br />Well, this show isn't broadcast <br />in......Cinemascope! <br />I never drank one chocolate malt <br />no desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs<br /><br />This one will never get a date<br />In those hand-me-down clothes<br />Ha.. Kid she'll never get a date 'til daddy buys her a new nose<br />I would say Oy Gevalt <br />If I wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs<br /><br />Do you dance like you dress<br />Amber there's no need to be cruel<br />Would you swim in an integrated pool?<br /><br />I sure would. <br />I'm all for integration, <br />it's The New Frontier! <br /><br />Not in Baltimore it isn't! And may I be frank? <br /><br />First impressions can be tough <br />And when I saw you, I knew it <br />If your size weren't enough <br />Your last answer just blew it! <br /><br />And so, my dear, so short and stout <br />You'll never be in<br />So we're kicking you out<br /><br />With your form and your face<br />oh well it isn't your fault<br />You're just down with a case of Miss<br />BALTIMORE CRABS<br /><br />Eh, you may go.<br />Um, thank you.<br />I think they secretly liked you.<br /><br />May I please audition?<br />Of course not,<br />but you may bow and exhalt,<br />Cause I am<br />MISS BALTIMORE CRABS
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