Bernice: She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee; her dress has got a tear
Sophia: She waltzes on her way to mass and whistles on the stairs
Bernice: And underneath her wimple she has curlers in her hair
Catherine: I've even heard her singing in the abbey
Agatha: She's always late for chapel
Sophia: But her penitence is real
Bernice: She's always late for everything!
Catherine: Except for every meal
Bernice: I hate to have to say it, but I very firmly feel
All four: Maria's not an asset to the abbey
Margaretta: I'd like to say a word in her behalf
R. Mother: Then say it Sister Margaretta
Margaretta: Maria makes me laugh!
R. Mother: How do you solve a problem like Maria
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down
Margaretta: How do you find the word that means Maria
Catherine: A flibbertigibbet
Sophia: A will-o'-the-wisp
Bernice: A clown
R. Mother: Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
Bernice: But how do you make her stay and listen to all you say
R. Mother: How do you keep a wave upon the sand
Margaretta: How do you solve a problem like Maria
R. Mother: How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand
Sophia: When I'm with her I'm confused,
out of focus and bemused,
and I never know exactly where I am...
Agatha: Unpredictable as weather
Catherine: She is flightly as a feather
Margaretta: She's a darling
Bernice: She's a demon
Margaretta: She's a lamb
Sophia: She'd out pester any pest; drive a hornet from it's nest
Agatha: She could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
Margaretta: She is gentle; she is wild
Catherine: She's a riddle; she's a child
Bernice: She's a headache
Margaretta: She's an angel
R. Mother: She's a girl...
Taken from AlbumSongAndLyrics.comAll: How do you solve a problem like Maria
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down
How do you find the word that means Maria
Catherine: A flibbertigibbet
Margaretta & Sophia: A will-o'-the-wisp
Bernice: A clown
All: Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
R. Mother: But how do you make her stay
Bernice: And listen to all you say
Margaretta: How do you keep a wave upon the sand
All: Oh how do you solve a problem like Maria...
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand