Translation of Star 69 by R E M

From:

You don't have to take the bar exam to see
What you've done is ignoramus 103
What've I got to hang my hat on
You don't have a pot to pee in
All this just to be your friend
I was there until the end
Extortion and arson, petty larceny

(chorus)
I know you called, I know you called, I know you called
I know you called, I know you called, I know you hung up my line
Star 69

I know all about the warehouse fire
I know squirrelys didn't chew the wires
3 people have my number
The other 2 were with me
I don't like to tell-tell but I'm not your patsy
This time you have gone too far with me

(repeat chorus)

Why'd you put your quarter down on me?
This reads like some dork inside edition hard copy
I can't be your character witness
I can't be your alibi
Doorbell rings it's the FBI
We learned spy vs. spy
You my friend, are guilty as can be

I know you called, I know you called, I know you called
I know you called, I know you called, I know you hung up my line
I know you called, I know you called, I know you called
I know you called, I know you called, I can't be your alibi
Star 69
Translate to:

You don't have to take the bar exam to see
What you've done is ignoramus 103
What've I got to hang my hat on
You don't have a pot to pee in
All this just to be your friend
I was there until the end
Extortion and arson, petty larceny

(chorus)
I know you called, I know you called, I know you called
I know you called, I know you called, I know you hung up my line
Star 69

I know all about the warehouse fire
I know squirrelys didn't chew the wires
3 people have my number
The other 2 were with me
I don't like to tell-tell but I'm not your patsy
This time you have gone too far with me

(repeat chorus)

Why'd you put your quarter down on me?
This reads like some dork inside edition hard copy
I can't be your character witness
I can't be your alibi
Doorbell rings it's the FBI
We learned spy vs. spy
You my friend, are guilty as can be

I know you called, I know you called, I know you called
I know you called, I know you called, I know you hung up my line
I know you called, I know you called, I know you called
I know you called, I know you called, I can't be your alibi
Star 69